Popo Loco

Apparently, poverty, drought, disease and low mortality weren't enough to keep the good people of CHAKE CHAKE, Tanzania in line. They now must cope with the sexual hunger of the Popo Bawa, and apparently, have had to live in fear of the creature for a long time. According to a Reuters news article, the Popo Bawa, officially defined as a “spirit-monster” stalks the island's inhabitants in the dead of night, preferably when the unsuspecting parties are indoors. Reports indicate that it takes great pleasure in sodomizing its victims, leaving them cold, paralyzed and amidst a foul odor. Sounds more to me like a one-night stand with Marv Albert than a mythical monster, but, hey, I've never been involved with either. Some alleged victims have even declared that the Popo Bawa temporarily enlarged their heads or expanded their jaw openings. Ouch!

Popo has managed to go unseen since the inception of his legendary career, however, the ill effects of his presence have left a lasting impression on villagers. It has become so intense that a large percentage of the population has turned to sleeping outdoors in an attempt to tame the wild entity's vigorous libido. I'm betting that Popo's ex-wife had to use the same tactics at one time or another given this guy's sex drive.

Ironically, Popo seems to take a page from American politics. Not just because he enjoys sodomizing the tax payers, but also that he's much more active during an election year than any other time. Nonetheless, whether or not Popo can sway an election's results in one direction or the other remains to be seen. Personally, even though the Popo Bawa does not seem to have a preference in political parties, I think this could be an ace in the hole for someone come the 2008 election. I'm not sure how big a deal voting is in Tanzania, but I'm fairly certain that Rock The Vote and highly-publicized campaign trails are not prevalent in that community. Thus, old Popo might consider seizing this opportunity and get a little more bang for his buck (no pun intended) by taking more creed in America's vote. I mean if Barry Bonds can hold the media hostage over a leg injury, imagine what Popo could demand in air time. Maybe it's just me, but if someone can convince this thing to relocate, I'm thinking he can put the Democrats back in the White House. Just a hunch.