Never mind the War of the Worlds premiere this Wednesday, there's a different alien grabbing headlines these days: Tom Cruise. By using that term, I'm not making references to the movie star's Scientology faith, but rather his bizarre behavior in the few months that have passed since his relationship with actress, Katie Holmes first became public. I've always been a Tom Cruise fan. His characters have always inspired me, made me laugh and given me the desire to carry the same bold confidence in myself that they display on the big screen. But even the most devoted of Tom Cruise fans has to be a little frightened by his present actions, comments and overall persona. Let's be honest, whoever this guy is walking around representing Tom Cruise is a far cry from the Jerry Maguire we all know and love. So is it really his love for Katie? Is it all a performance meant to drum up publicity for the release of his latest blockbuster? Or, has the guy really gone off the deep end amidst a mid-life crisis? Perhaps the answers to these questions lie inside the events themselves that have brought us to the point of wondering "what's wrong with dear, old Tom". Let's take a look at the timeline…
Late April:
Rumors emerge that the talented Mr. Cruise is dating Joey from Dawson's Creek (let's be honest, that's how most people know her, now isn't it?). Soon, these rumors are squashed with the cold hard truth that, yes the two are in fact a couple. "A couple of what?" is the first reaction many of us experience. After all, last we heard Tom and Penelope Cruz were an item, while Katie was passing time with beau (now former beau), Chris Klein. Besides, Tom's considerably older than she, but love knows no age so we slowly accept the reality of it all. Pretty soon, their mugs appear everywhere, except the outside of a 7-Eleven Slurpee cup. The two are frequently locked together at the lips, as they make no secret about, almost promote, the way they "allegedly" feel about each other. I use the word allegedly, because most of America still finds the entire situation unbelievable. Soon the "publicity stunt" rumors begin to circulate. Skeptics begin inferring that the two are hooking up merely to promote their upcoming Summer blockbusters, which, of course, leads to the first of Tom's many unusual antics.
May 23
Apparently, hearing enough nonsense that he's not truly in live, Tom embarks on a mission to set the record straight by appearing on the Oprah show and participating in a nonsensical, almost idiotic to some, display of his affection for the fair Miss Holmes. Cruise fans breathe a sigh of relief in one regard in that his arm pumps and jerky leg kicks do in fact resemble the old Jerry Maguire we are so used to. Unfortunately, it wouldn't last long, as Tom receives tremendous ridicule by the media for his performance. But, on the bright side, many people now believe that he and Katie are really in love. Well, at least his fellow scientologists.
May 26
Tom decides to implement a ploy to take some of the attention away from his love life by attacking Brooke Shields. He scolds Brooke for using Paxil to fight her depression after giving birth to her daughter. Sure, Tom. Being a man, I'm sure you understand the postpartum experience better than most of us, including women. However, not sure this is the right way to go about promoting your new movie. The comments escalate into an all-out war of words between the two. But, I guess it could be worse. At least he said that Brooke "is an incredibly talented woman". Of course, he also implied that her career was over right after that. Yikes!
Shortly thereafter, Katie Holmes announces that she is converting to Scientology. A Catholic girl dropping her faith to convert to the beliefs of the man she loves. And Tom's calling Brooke Shields weak? Go figure. But Cruise tells the media "the thing you've got to know about Katie is that she's an incredibly bright and self-determined woman. She makes her own decisions." With this, more rumors arise that Tom allegedly insisted that Katie turn down a role in the upcoming "Factory Girls" because she would have played a drug-addicted woman, and he apparently is a practicing anti-drug advocate. Still believe Katie makes her own decisions? Right.
June 17
The couple's relationship takes huge strides as the two become engaged atop the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Both claim they have never been happier, and the duo celebrates with a romantic dinner for four – Tom, Katie and the parents of his former lover, Penelope Cruz. Now, I'm no Hitch, but don't you think dinner with the old flame's folks is an odd way to welcome the beginning of one's life together. Witnesses say that Katie is rather quiet during the entire meal. Really? You know, that seems strange, because if I were to dine with the parents of my wife's ex, I'm sure I would be a regular chatterbox.
June 19
Just when you think it's safe to turn on CNN again, he strikes yet once more. During a War of the Worlds premiere, Tom is the victim of a local television show prank, getting squirted in the face by a water-shooting microphone. At first he laughs at the incident, but then almost Jekyll-and-Hyde like, he concludes with a lecture for the prankster, publicly labeling the guy a "jerk". Can you just imagine Tom's reaction if he was to ever get Punk'd? Are you listening, Ashton?
June 20
As if it couldn't get any stranger, sources report that Cruise treated actress, Scarlett Johansson, to a tour of the Church of Scientology. Seems everything was peachy until Tom put her on the spot with a surprise dinner invite amongst all of the church's elders. Scarlett finds the entire situation a little too awkward and politely declines, then exits. Well, "exits" is probably an understatement. My guess is she ran like hell once she hit the front door. Apparently, Cruise thought he was playing David Koresh in his next major film and wanted to get a jump on becoming the role.
June 22
Cruise publicly discusses the water-in-the-face incident by stating "There are bullies, people who like to make people feel less and feel bad. Those people need to be confronted. I have never felt something like that is funny." So now, in addition to being a movie star, producer, anti-depressant expert and Scientology rep, Tom is a super hero. Well, I for one can sleep much easier knowing that he will be there to defend me should I be squirted in the face by a gag mic.
June 24
Cruise adds Psychiatrist to his resume as he debates Today show host, Matt Lauer, on the effects of drugs and the human psyche. Lauer claims he knows individuals who were helped by Ritalin, at which point Cruise responds with "Matt, Matt, you don't even -- you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK. That's what I've done." Wow, this guy just does it all, doesn't he.
That brings us to the here and now, anxiously awaiting Mr. Cruise's next move. To be honest, I, personally, have found the entire journey with Tom to be fascinating. I routinely scan the news headlines each morning hoping that the time bomb we call Cruise has gone off again. But you see, that's just it. As weird as his behavior may be, Tom Cruise is keeping himself at the forefront of the minds of every potential movie ticket buyer out there. Is he doing it on purpose? I don't know. Heck, he probably doesn't even know. But, if it's media he wants, it is working. It may not all be good, but he is still grabbing headlines and, in the end, that will bring people into the theater to see his movie.
Me? Well, I may check it out. I will admit I am a little intrigued. Man vs Alien in one final battle on Earth. You just have to ask yourself…after all of the antics we've witnessed over the past two months…which side of the war is Tom really on?
Monday, June 27, 2005
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Character goes a long way
The passing of Lane Smith earlier this week probably went unnoticed by most movie fans, unless of course the obituary you read included a picture of the gifted actor. Smith fell under the category "character actor" - those celebrities who seem to appear in every movie you come across, yet despite the instant recognition of their faces, you just can't seem to recall their names. Over the course of motion picture history, we've watched them come and go, remembered only by those characters whom they brought to life on the silver screen. For the serious movie buff, there's even a website honoring their contributions to Hollywood.
For me, Lane Smith will always be etched into my memory as one of two personas - the lawyer opposing Joe Pesci's Vincent Gambini in the comedy My Cousin Vinny or the small-town father who's life is turned upside down by Pauly Shore's Crawl in Son-In-Law. Still, news of his death got me thinking about some of the other character actors, particularly in today's modern movie era, that deserve to be mentioned for continuing to lend their faces to the big screen knowing damn well that only the most serious of movie fans will have an inkling of their identity. Thus, I present my personal list of favorite character actors (in no particular order):
JT Walsh
The man who epitomizes the character actor. His motion picture career spans 16 years (1982-1998) in which he appeared in 66 films; most notably Pleasantville, Breakdown, Slingblade, Blue Chips, Needful Things, and A Few Good Men. Walsh died February 27, 1998 of heart failure.
David Patrick Kelley
"Warriors, come out and play-e-yay". Such was the haunting chant repeated by Kelley in the 1979 film The Warriors, his motion picture debut. Since then he's made a career out of playing twisted souls, heartless criminals and psychopaths in such films as K-Pax, Last Man Standing, The Crow, Commando, Dreamscape, and, most recently, this year's remake of The Longest Yard. However, he will always be Luther in 48 Hrs., unexpectedly flipping over an opened car door much to the chagrin of Eddie Murphy ("What's happenin', Luther?").
Paul Dooley
Though he never found himself in a blockbuster motion picture, Dooley turned up in over 75 films, in addition to numerous television guest appearances. He's probably most remembered for his portrayal of the father who cared but found it difficult to express that he cared; most notably as Jim Baker in Sixteen Candles and Raymond Toller in Breaking Away.
Jeffery Jones
Jones is a versatile actor with the ability to play pretty much any type of character. You probably know him best as Principal Edward Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, however, Jones has landed roles in a multitude of popular films, including The Devil's Advocate (in a very creepy jogging scene), Houseguest, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, The Hunt for Red October, and Beetlejuice.
James Rebhorn
With 76 films and a number of TV appearances to his credit, Rebhorn's is a face that you may recognize from such pictures as Basic Instinct, Regarding Henry, The Game, Guarding Tess, Independence Day, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain, and, ironically enough, My Cousin Vinny, with Lane Smith. Personally, I'll remember him best as Dr. Larry Banks in Meet the Parents.
Honorable Mention:
Wallace Shawn
Ronny Cox
John Kapelos
Ed Lauter
Bruce McGill
For me, Lane Smith will always be etched into my memory as one of two personas - the lawyer opposing Joe Pesci's Vincent Gambini in the comedy My Cousin Vinny or the small-town father who's life is turned upside down by Pauly Shore's Crawl in Son-In-Law. Still, news of his death got me thinking about some of the other character actors, particularly in today's modern movie era, that deserve to be mentioned for continuing to lend their faces to the big screen knowing damn well that only the most serious of movie fans will have an inkling of their identity. Thus, I present my personal list of favorite character actors (in no particular order):
JT Walsh
The man who epitomizes the character actor. His motion picture career spans 16 years (1982-1998) in which he appeared in 66 films; most notably Pleasantville, Breakdown, Slingblade, Blue Chips, Needful Things, and A Few Good Men. Walsh died February 27, 1998 of heart failure.
David Patrick Kelley
"Warriors, come out and play-e-yay". Such was the haunting chant repeated by Kelley in the 1979 film The Warriors, his motion picture debut. Since then he's made a career out of playing twisted souls, heartless criminals and psychopaths in such films as K-Pax, Last Man Standing, The Crow, Commando, Dreamscape, and, most recently, this year's remake of The Longest Yard. However, he will always be Luther in 48 Hrs., unexpectedly flipping over an opened car door much to the chagrin of Eddie Murphy ("What's happenin', Luther?").
Paul Dooley
Though he never found himself in a blockbuster motion picture, Dooley turned up in over 75 films, in addition to numerous television guest appearances. He's probably most remembered for his portrayal of the father who cared but found it difficult to express that he cared; most notably as Jim Baker in Sixteen Candles and Raymond Toller in Breaking Away.
Jeffery Jones
Jones is a versatile actor with the ability to play pretty much any type of character. You probably know him best as Principal Edward Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, however, Jones has landed roles in a multitude of popular films, including The Devil's Advocate (in a very creepy jogging scene), Houseguest, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, The Hunt for Red October, and Beetlejuice.
James Rebhorn
With 76 films and a number of TV appearances to his credit, Rebhorn's is a face that you may recognize from such pictures as Basic Instinct, Regarding Henry, The Game, Guarding Tess, Independence Day, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain, and, ironically enough, My Cousin Vinny, with Lane Smith. Personally, I'll remember him best as Dr. Larry Banks in Meet the Parents.
Honorable Mention:
Wallace Shawn
Ronny Cox
John Kapelos
Ed Lauter
Bruce McGill
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Today's service is a disservice to us all
Customer service is everywhere these days…news headlines, company missions, corporate boardrooms, sales philosophies, store signs and policies, and, my favorite, infomericals. Unfortunately, the one place I am seeing less and less of customer service is at the point of sale. Oddly, one would think that might be the greatest area of focus. However, from mini marts to department stores to specialty shops, the growing trend of employees who could care less what the customer wants or needs is growing rapidly. I used to think it was just because most businesses opted for part-time teen-age associates in order to alleviate high payrolls and to avoid incurring the cost of benefits. But, I'm not so sure anymore, as I've seen my share of poor service experiences involving adults of all ages, races and creed.
So what's the problem here, America? It doesn't appear to be an impossible problem to rectify. It's common courtesy in a workplace format. And, if we can't figure out that simple equation by ourselves, there must be at least a thousand experts out there who can help us see the light. At least it would appear that way given how often I see a new perspective on the topic turn up in the local bookstore. In fact, during one recent visit to Borders, I made a point to peruse the Business section where I came across such titles as Indispensable: How To Become The Company That Your Customers Can't Live Without, Super Service: Seven Keys to Delivering Great Customer Service...Even When You Don't Feel Like It!...Even When They Don't Deserve It!, Coaching Knock Your Socks Off Service, and Hug Your Customers: The Proven Way to Personalize Sales and Achieve Astounding Results (although that last one would be a little awkward should a store employee elect to apply it on me). Unfortunately, the people writing these books, as well as the managers reading them, forgot to pass the knowledge on to their sales staff. If they did, I wouldn't have some 17-yr.-old kid roll his eyes at me because I've apparently inconvenienced him by asking which aisle the Cocoa Puffs are in, therefore taking him away from his daily ritual of doing nothing.
So are we just lazy? Has our culture become so automated that the mere idea of assisting someone else seems ridiculous despite the fact that one may be getting paid to do just that? I have no idea. What I do know is, we, as customers, are just as much to blame because we take it. Nine times out of ten I bet a person who gets bad service from a store either shrugs it off and moves on with his life OR states "I will never go back there again". The latter of which is usually forgotten the next time he is in dire need of diapers for the little one, and, despite his previous encounter, the local Kmart is not only close but the least expensive in terms of price (and, no, for the record, I do not have anything against Kmart and its service…or lack of). Maybe we need to push the envelope on poor service and report these incidents. Perhaps call the employee out face-to-face or via a tete-a -tete with his manager (in which we, of course, adamantly express our displeasure with the service provided). At least you can return home knowing that you exhausted all means in your power to set the situation right. And, if that isn't consolation enough, I guess take comfort in the fact that you won't have as much pride swallowing to do when the time comes for you to return to the store for those diapers.
So what's the problem here, America? It doesn't appear to be an impossible problem to rectify. It's common courtesy in a workplace format. And, if we can't figure out that simple equation by ourselves, there must be at least a thousand experts out there who can help us see the light. At least it would appear that way given how often I see a new perspective on the topic turn up in the local bookstore. In fact, during one recent visit to Borders, I made a point to peruse the Business section where I came across such titles as Indispensable: How To Become The Company That Your Customers Can't Live Without, Super Service: Seven Keys to Delivering Great Customer Service...Even When You Don't Feel Like It!...Even When They Don't Deserve It!, Coaching Knock Your Socks Off Service, and Hug Your Customers: The Proven Way to Personalize Sales and Achieve Astounding Results (although that last one would be a little awkward should a store employee elect to apply it on me). Unfortunately, the people writing these books, as well as the managers reading them, forgot to pass the knowledge on to their sales staff. If they did, I wouldn't have some 17-yr.-old kid roll his eyes at me because I've apparently inconvenienced him by asking which aisle the Cocoa Puffs are in, therefore taking him away from his daily ritual of doing nothing.
So are we just lazy? Has our culture become so automated that the mere idea of assisting someone else seems ridiculous despite the fact that one may be getting paid to do just that? I have no idea. What I do know is, we, as customers, are just as much to blame because we take it. Nine times out of ten I bet a person who gets bad service from a store either shrugs it off and moves on with his life OR states "I will never go back there again". The latter of which is usually forgotten the next time he is in dire need of diapers for the little one, and, despite his previous encounter, the local Kmart is not only close but the least expensive in terms of price (and, no, for the record, I do not have anything against Kmart and its service…or lack of). Maybe we need to push the envelope on poor service and report these incidents. Perhaps call the employee out face-to-face or via a tete-a -tete with his manager (in which we, of course, adamantly express our displeasure with the service provided). At least you can return home knowing that you exhausted all means in your power to set the situation right. And, if that isn't consolation enough, I guess take comfort in the fact that you won't have as much pride swallowing to do when the time comes for you to return to the store for those diapers.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Some stars occupy too much sky
It appears our favorite motion picture personalities believe their monopoly of the big screen, and the millions in profits they reap from the industry, just isn't enough to support the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Nope, now they're strategically plotting to corner the video game industry, as well. An article posted in Yahoo! News this morning explains how the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) and American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA) just struck a deal with the video game industry that will increase actor/actress profit by 36% when said “movie star” lends his or her voice to a game. But wait there's more. Just when you're thinking that such demands represent the epitome of greed, we find out that the “stars” in question actually wanted profit-sharing or “residual payments” from the game industry, but were denied this request and, therefore it seems, took what they could get. One passage in the article states “The unions, which said they struck the deal with reluctance, vowed to continue their bid to win payments for actors for each game sold.” Well, sure, let's be certain they can tap into whatever money bucket spills their way just for uttering a few lines here and there. Guess that extra stash is for the sore throat doctor bills that our celebrities are bound to incur during the voice-over process.
So on top of A-Rod receiving $252 million over 10 years (you do the math for his annual salary), T.O. demanding a new, more lucrative, contract on top of his current $49 million one, Tom Cruise getting $25 million+ per picture (even despite his recent performance on Oprah), we now have this. What's next? Scott Peterson raking in a cool $100 million for selling his story to a publishing company? I'm sure it's already in the works in some board room across the country. Given the crude reality of these ridiculous antics, I gotta believe the end of the world is upon us. Honestly. I mean, aren't some of these things biblical signs for Armageddon? I'm ready to grow a beard, go unbathed for a couple of months, grab a sign and walk the streets muttering “the end is near”. Anyone care to join me?
So on top of A-Rod receiving $252 million over 10 years (you do the math for his annual salary), T.O. demanding a new, more lucrative, contract on top of his current $49 million one, Tom Cruise getting $25 million+ per picture (even despite his recent performance on Oprah), we now have this. What's next? Scott Peterson raking in a cool $100 million for selling his story to a publishing company? I'm sure it's already in the works in some board room across the country. Given the crude reality of these ridiculous antics, I gotta believe the end of the world is upon us. Honestly. I mean, aren't some of these things biblical signs for Armageddon? I'm ready to grow a beard, go unbathed for a couple of months, grab a sign and walk the streets muttering “the end is near”. Anyone care to join me?
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Send in the clones
Over the years, I've heard people high and low utter the infamous words “I wish I had an extra set of hands”, in reference to their efforts in multitasking all the things that adorn their proverbial “plate”. Ironically, these people are usually parents. But, I gotta admit, the thought of possessing four hands is quite intriguing. I could enjoy the luxury of starting dinner with one pair while the second pair conveniently helps assemble my 2-yr. old's wooden puzzle. And, just think how fast you could get through the supermarket during the weekly grocery shopping excursion. Not to mention how interesting sex might be. Still, among other things, I am troubled by the cosmetic consequences, such as where exactly these new limbs would attach without an extra set of arms to hold them. Thus, I think there is an easier, more productive way to combat all the things we as Americans are forced to do as part of our daily rituals…cloning.
Yes, that taboo topic that seems to continue making headlines every day since a lamb named, Dolly was successfully cloned in 1997. And, the controversy that began around that same time is just as strong today, as well. But think about it? How much could you benefit by having another “you” around to help out? Off the top of my head, I can think of some great ways my clone, whom I'll affectionately refer to as Scott, Jr. (personal retribution, since I refused to name my son that) for this blog entry, could make my life a little easier. Here are just a few…
Lawn care. Right now I pay some guy $30 to take a few layers off my front and back lawn each week. To escalate the fact that I'm basically giving away hard-earned cash, he doesn't even edge every week, but rather every other. I'm sure Scott, Jr. could admirably replace said service and it wouldn't cost me a dime in the process. I hope he doesn't mind pulling the weeds while he's at it, either.
Babysitter. My wife and I would love to get out more often, just the two of us. I'm sure I would find ample comfort in leaving the kids withÂ…well, me, basically. Are you going to tell me that a 2-yr. old and 3-month old will be able to tell the difference? Please.
Work. You know those “mental” days we all need to take from time to time? Scott, Jr. could certainly afford me more of them, without my workload missing a beat. I certainly wouldn't have an issue with taking in an afternoon ballgame down at the CoPa or spending some additional time with my family while Scott, Jr. labors away on the laptop in the old office cubicle.
Family commitments. Now don't get me wrong. I love my family. I love my in-laws. I love spending time with all of them (plus, they're all probably going to read this). But, from time-to-time, there are those events for which I just cannot muster up the energy nor the excitement to attend. In these instances, Scott, Jr. could pinch hit for me without Mom, Dad, Sister-in-Law, possibly even my wife (I'm kidding, honey), knowing the wiser. Besides, everyone needs some “me” time now and then. In this case, everyone involved gets some “me” time, if you think about it.
Socializing with Neighbors. I am often sidetracked from my outdoor agenda by neighbors who apparently don't realize that I am out there for a reason. With Scott, Jr. around, I can send him out front as a coversational decoy while I sneak out back to accomplish the mission I set out to achieve.
Jury duty. For those of you who have served, I don't need to write another word. For those of you who haven't, try it, then get back to me. Until then, you wouldn't understand just how much Scott, Jr. would help in this capacity.
I'm sure there are a couple dozen other ways that this whole cloning scenario could do wonders for my busy life, which is why I am all for it. Some say it is immoral. Some say it is dangerous. Some, like our current President, George W. Bush, imply that the world might be worse off in a cloning society. Funny he should take that stance given the fact he's been trying to make everyone like him since he was elected. I say…hogwash. Maybe I'm being a little selfish, as the benefits for me truly outweigh any costs to my direct exposure with society, but so be it. You know, a former boss once told me that he “wished he had a hundred others like me”. Which just goes to prove that I'm not the only one out here who's in full support of having a few more Scott Counsells in the world.
Yes, that taboo topic that seems to continue making headlines every day since a lamb named, Dolly was successfully cloned in 1997. And, the controversy that began around that same time is just as strong today, as well. But think about it? How much could you benefit by having another “you” around to help out? Off the top of my head, I can think of some great ways my clone, whom I'll affectionately refer to as Scott, Jr. (personal retribution, since I refused to name my son that) for this blog entry, could make my life a little easier. Here are just a few…
Lawn care. Right now I pay some guy $30 to take a few layers off my front and back lawn each week. To escalate the fact that I'm basically giving away hard-earned cash, he doesn't even edge every week, but rather every other. I'm sure Scott, Jr. could admirably replace said service and it wouldn't cost me a dime in the process. I hope he doesn't mind pulling the weeds while he's at it, either.
Babysitter. My wife and I would love to get out more often, just the two of us. I'm sure I would find ample comfort in leaving the kids withÂ…well, me, basically. Are you going to tell me that a 2-yr. old and 3-month old will be able to tell the difference? Please.
Work. You know those “mental” days we all need to take from time to time? Scott, Jr. could certainly afford me more of them, without my workload missing a beat. I certainly wouldn't have an issue with taking in an afternoon ballgame down at the CoPa or spending some additional time with my family while Scott, Jr. labors away on the laptop in the old office cubicle.
Family commitments. Now don't get me wrong. I love my family. I love my in-laws. I love spending time with all of them (plus, they're all probably going to read this). But, from time-to-time, there are those events for which I just cannot muster up the energy nor the excitement to attend. In these instances, Scott, Jr. could pinch hit for me without Mom, Dad, Sister-in-Law, possibly even my wife (I'm kidding, honey), knowing the wiser. Besides, everyone needs some “me” time now and then. In this case, everyone involved gets some “me” time, if you think about it.
Socializing with Neighbors. I am often sidetracked from my outdoor agenda by neighbors who apparently don't realize that I am out there for a reason. With Scott, Jr. around, I can send him out front as a coversational decoy while I sneak out back to accomplish the mission I set out to achieve.
Jury duty. For those of you who have served, I don't need to write another word. For those of you who haven't, try it, then get back to me. Until then, you wouldn't understand just how much Scott, Jr. would help in this capacity.
I'm sure there are a couple dozen other ways that this whole cloning scenario could do wonders for my busy life, which is why I am all for it. Some say it is immoral. Some say it is dangerous. Some, like our current President, George W. Bush, imply that the world might be worse off in a cloning society. Funny he should take that stance given the fact he's been trying to make everyone like him since he was elected. I say…hogwash. Maybe I'm being a little selfish, as the benefits for me truly outweigh any costs to my direct exposure with society, but so be it. You know, a former boss once told me that he “wished he had a hundred others like me”. Which just goes to prove that I'm not the only one out here who's in full support of having a few more Scott Counsells in the world.
Monday, June 06, 2005
The grass is always greener in the neighbor's yard
Ah, summer. A rainbow of blooming flowers, the warm sun on your face, the scent of delicious barbecue filling the evening air, and, of course, the continuous task of trying to keep your grass from baking brown in between the all-too-rare rainfalls. Yes, it's that time of year again. And, over in Shelby Township, MI, the challenge is compounded by the fact that only inches below the surface of sod and dirt lies enough sand to make Miami Beach look like a child's sandbox. Yes, in dear old Shelby, one watering a day is not nearly enough. Nope. Because one watering lasts only a few short hours into the day until, once again, the ground returns to its hay-like texture under the penetrating rays of the sun. Now, if I was in the business of providing feed for horses, I'd let this issue go without another thought. But, unfortunately, I'm not in that business. And so the dilemma begins…
Is a precious green lawn really worth the price one pays, both monetarily and mentally, to get it to, and keep it at, such a state of landscape nirvana? Now, let's think about this rationally. What is the primary reason one makes the effort (and also eats the cost) to ensure his lawn basks in lush green color, as opposed to the awful spectrum of brown and yellow? Is it personal satisfaction? Probably not. Is it for the lawn's own health? Doubt it. Is it because we want our family to have the luxury of prancing on soft blades of forest green fluffiness. I really don't think so. So what is it then? Simple. It's plain, old social acceptance at its finest. Don't believe me? Look down your own street and carefully scan the lawns of each residence. Most are decent, some exceptional, but when you come across that one house featuring the dreaded crop circles of dead growth, what happens? You know the one I'm talking about. The house in which you immediately find your thoughts wandering somewhere in the direction of “Oh, my. Who lives there? Don't they realize how awful that makes their yard look?” or something similar in rash judgmentent. Fact is, no one wants to be that house. Well, no one except the neighborhood retiree living alone, void of any visits from his children and their families because they would rather spend their time at Disney World or the time share in Fort Myers than hang out with some old guy in the dead heat of a Michigan summer, and, therefore, who just doesn't give a crap about the way his lawn looks like anymore. Oh, come on, every block has one. But, you see, that guy has an alibi for neglecting the upkeep. The rest of us, we don't have that luxury, Nope, we can either choose to spend our children's college tuition in the form of good old H2O for the lawn or face the ridicule of our nosy neighbors. For myself, this presents a lot of unwelcomed peer pressure, not to mention some wacky antics at the Counsell homestead. For example, just this past weekend, we put our daughter's flailing arm Octopus sprinkler out in the backyard for her to run through. In setting it up, I made a conscious effort to strategically place the unit in an area of lawn that was severely lacking in green. Then, as if that wasn't pushing the obsessive envelope enough, when my daughter decided she didn't like the unpredictable spray pattern of our eight-armed friend and abandoned any idea of getting within 10 feet of him, I elected to let the big guy continue raining down as he performed remarkably better than any oscillating sprinkler I've ever owned.
So, again, I ask the question: Is a precious green lawn really worth the price one pays, both monetarily and mentally, to get it to, and keep it at, such a state of landscape nirvana? In my eyes, absolutely not. I mean, I could care less if my lawn is bright green or just dull green, especially if it means saving some of my paycheck for more important things like my family and upgrades to other, more permanent, parts of my home. But, unfortunately, in today's society, we are more often than not forced to look at it from our neighbor's eyes instead or our own. Because the truth, whether we want to believe it or not, is that we need their acceptance in order to feel as if we belong to the community in which we live. Being the outcast, though independent, is not very comforting, particularly when you're constantly under the scrutiny of the same people you face every time you step out the door of your house
So, it is early June now, and I figure the summer will rage on full force for another 3 months. On the bright side, that's just 12 more weeks, 90 more days, 2,160 more hours and 129,600 more seconds of coping with the “should I/shouldn't I” watering dilemma…once a morning and once a night. And, you know, when I break it down like that, it doesn't seem so bad. But, then again, I haven't gotten my first water bill yet. Oh, well, the kids didn't need to eat anyway, right?
Is a precious green lawn really worth the price one pays, both monetarily and mentally, to get it to, and keep it at, such a state of landscape nirvana? Now, let's think about this rationally. What is the primary reason one makes the effort (and also eats the cost) to ensure his lawn basks in lush green color, as opposed to the awful spectrum of brown and yellow? Is it personal satisfaction? Probably not. Is it for the lawn's own health? Doubt it. Is it because we want our family to have the luxury of prancing on soft blades of forest green fluffiness. I really don't think so. So what is it then? Simple. It's plain, old social acceptance at its finest. Don't believe me? Look down your own street and carefully scan the lawns of each residence. Most are decent, some exceptional, but when you come across that one house featuring the dreaded crop circles of dead growth, what happens? You know the one I'm talking about. The house in which you immediately find your thoughts wandering somewhere in the direction of “Oh, my. Who lives there? Don't they realize how awful that makes their yard look?” or something similar in rash judgmentent. Fact is, no one wants to be that house. Well, no one except the neighborhood retiree living alone, void of any visits from his children and their families because they would rather spend their time at Disney World or the time share in Fort Myers than hang out with some old guy in the dead heat of a Michigan summer, and, therefore, who just doesn't give a crap about the way his lawn looks like anymore. Oh, come on, every block has one. But, you see, that guy has an alibi for neglecting the upkeep. The rest of us, we don't have that luxury, Nope, we can either choose to spend our children's college tuition in the form of good old H2O for the lawn or face the ridicule of our nosy neighbors. For myself, this presents a lot of unwelcomed peer pressure, not to mention some wacky antics at the Counsell homestead. For example, just this past weekend, we put our daughter's flailing arm Octopus sprinkler out in the backyard for her to run through. In setting it up, I made a conscious effort to strategically place the unit in an area of lawn that was severely lacking in green. Then, as if that wasn't pushing the obsessive envelope enough, when my daughter decided she didn't like the unpredictable spray pattern of our eight-armed friend and abandoned any idea of getting within 10 feet of him, I elected to let the big guy continue raining down as he performed remarkably better than any oscillating sprinkler I've ever owned.
So, again, I ask the question: Is a precious green lawn really worth the price one pays, both monetarily and mentally, to get it to, and keep it at, such a state of landscape nirvana? In my eyes, absolutely not. I mean, I could care less if my lawn is bright green or just dull green, especially if it means saving some of my paycheck for more important things like my family and upgrades to other, more permanent, parts of my home. But, unfortunately, in today's society, we are more often than not forced to look at it from our neighbor's eyes instead or our own. Because the truth, whether we want to believe it or not, is that we need their acceptance in order to feel as if we belong to the community in which we live. Being the outcast, though independent, is not very comforting, particularly when you're constantly under the scrutiny of the same people you face every time you step out the door of your house
So, it is early June now, and I figure the summer will rage on full force for another 3 months. On the bright side, that's just 12 more weeks, 90 more days, 2,160 more hours and 129,600 more seconds of coping with the “should I/shouldn't I” watering dilemma…once a morning and once a night. And, you know, when I break it down like that, it doesn't seem so bad. But, then again, I haven't gotten my first water bill yet. Oh, well, the kids didn't need to eat anyway, right?
Thursday, June 02, 2005
In defense of the offensive
ESPN's website, and, for that matter, practically every other site that carries a standard sports section, is posting a story today about the San Francisco 49ers and their very recent fallout (like, yesterday) with the city, and other community leaders, due to a proprietary team training video. Apparently the video was created to help prepare players deal with the media. Unfortunately, this lesson seems to have gotten lost amidst the racial jokes, topless women and gay/lesbian references that adorn the tape's footage. Yeah, I can turn on CNN and hear about all that crap any time during the day, but it appears any other form of media featuring such content is an outrage to society. I guess the tape even features a skit involving the team's PR director, Kirk Reynolds, poking fun at the Mayor (Gavin Newsom) via impersonation. Come on, Gav, isn't imitation the sincerest form of flattery?
I don't mean to make light of such a “serious” issue, and I am by no means condoning such behavior. But, come on, people, it's a freakin' video with some off-color material. It's not like, uh, say, just hypothetically, someone shot a couple frames of our military soldiers senselessly beating Iraqi prisoners. Now that should get some attention. But, this? This is just one stupid mistake by a guy who thought he was using the right tools to teach his players a valuable lesson. Look, I'm a corporate trainer myself, and I truly understand the complexities of trying to find the right mix of training tools to reach everyone in your audience, as we all learn differently. Kirk Reynold's audience, in this case, was a 50+ group of men, ages 21-40, jacked up with adrenaline and dripping with testosterone…gee, who would have thunk that boobs, insults and comedy skits might not be the best way to reach them.
My point here is that we, as a society, have become way, way too extreme in our reaction to the things that we find offending, AND, we can't seem to settle on a universal list of the subjects that are offensive, AND when they are offensive to us. It seems to change by the second. Are racial jokes offensive? Some will tell you, yes. I say it depends on the audience and who's telling the jokes. Chris Rock can stand on a stage in front of thousands, use racial slurs and we think it's funny. But, if it turns up in a training video, all of a sudden it's a travesty. Do topless women offend me? Not one bit. They may make me feel a bit awkward depending on the situation, but offensive, nope. Others may find a pair of exposed breasts entirely offensive. I understand that. I empathize with that. But I don't think the owner of those breasts should pay for her consequences just because half the crowd is screaming “nay” while the other half is chanting “yay”. Is it disrespectful and ignorant to ridicule someone just because of their sexual preference? Absolutely. But, I've witnessed people facing ridicule because of their weight, hair length, clothes and general appearance, but no one seems to have a problem with that (except for the person being ridiculed, I assume). As soon as gender, race and sexual preference are mentioned in such context, the entire world stands still until those instigating the issue are brought to justice.
How many of you have sat in a private room amongst friends and participated in the sharing of an off-colored joke? I'm going to bet the majority have. I have, I can admit it. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person. Doesn't mean I'm a racist. It just means I enjoy having a few laughs with my friends. Now, let's add another element to the equation. The joke in question refers to an Asian person and one of my friends in the room is Asian. Is the joke still OK? Depends. It depends on a number of things. How is my friend's sense of humor? Is he easily offended by such references? Does he tell jokes about his race? And, so on. But ultimately it depends on how well I know my friend as to whether or not he will be offended by a joke. Unfortunately, all of us do not know each other so well as to determine whether or not content is acceptable at a given time. Which makes it tough on all of us. Perhaps, in such situations, it would be smart to elect silence over risk. For instance, if I were to meet my friend's family for the first time, I highly doubt I would tell the joke that was shared in that room full of friends.
In defense of Kirk Reynolds, he knew his audience, he knew what they were able to tolerate, and he proceeded as he saw necessary. That tape was meant for the San Francisco 49er players. It was never meant for the city, the Mayor, the gay/lesbian community or the media. Had it been, I very much doubt that the content would have been the same. Just like I'm sure that if you and your spouse videotaped your own intimate adventures, you wouldn't be shipping it out to the local news station for the 6:00 headlines. Some may say Kirk Reynolds made a mistake. I say the only mistake here is that the world continues to judge “the other guy” for his actions, rather than accept people for who they are, mostly human, and move on even if you don't agree with that individual's actions. Accepting diversity is really the only path to harmony amongst each other. If you continue to get up in arms about every little thing that someone else does that is not in line with your theory of the way the world should be, the world is going to continue being what it is…rich with ignorance, hate, intolerance and a lack of respect for all living things. And, to me, that's more offensive than any videotape could ever be.
I don't mean to make light of such a “serious” issue, and I am by no means condoning such behavior. But, come on, people, it's a freakin' video with some off-color material. It's not like, uh, say, just hypothetically, someone shot a couple frames of our military soldiers senselessly beating Iraqi prisoners. Now that should get some attention. But, this? This is just one stupid mistake by a guy who thought he was using the right tools to teach his players a valuable lesson. Look, I'm a corporate trainer myself, and I truly understand the complexities of trying to find the right mix of training tools to reach everyone in your audience, as we all learn differently. Kirk Reynold's audience, in this case, was a 50+ group of men, ages 21-40, jacked up with adrenaline and dripping with testosterone…gee, who would have thunk that boobs, insults and comedy skits might not be the best way to reach them.
My point here is that we, as a society, have become way, way too extreme in our reaction to the things that we find offending, AND, we can't seem to settle on a universal list of the subjects that are offensive, AND when they are offensive to us. It seems to change by the second. Are racial jokes offensive? Some will tell you, yes. I say it depends on the audience and who's telling the jokes. Chris Rock can stand on a stage in front of thousands, use racial slurs and we think it's funny. But, if it turns up in a training video, all of a sudden it's a travesty. Do topless women offend me? Not one bit. They may make me feel a bit awkward depending on the situation, but offensive, nope. Others may find a pair of exposed breasts entirely offensive. I understand that. I empathize with that. But I don't think the owner of those breasts should pay for her consequences just because half the crowd is screaming “nay” while the other half is chanting “yay”. Is it disrespectful and ignorant to ridicule someone just because of their sexual preference? Absolutely. But, I've witnessed people facing ridicule because of their weight, hair length, clothes and general appearance, but no one seems to have a problem with that (except for the person being ridiculed, I assume). As soon as gender, race and sexual preference are mentioned in such context, the entire world stands still until those instigating the issue are brought to justice.
How many of you have sat in a private room amongst friends and participated in the sharing of an off-colored joke? I'm going to bet the majority have. I have, I can admit it. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person. Doesn't mean I'm a racist. It just means I enjoy having a few laughs with my friends. Now, let's add another element to the equation. The joke in question refers to an Asian person and one of my friends in the room is Asian. Is the joke still OK? Depends. It depends on a number of things. How is my friend's sense of humor? Is he easily offended by such references? Does he tell jokes about his race? And, so on. But ultimately it depends on how well I know my friend as to whether or not he will be offended by a joke. Unfortunately, all of us do not know each other so well as to determine whether or not content is acceptable at a given time. Which makes it tough on all of us. Perhaps, in such situations, it would be smart to elect silence over risk. For instance, if I were to meet my friend's family for the first time, I highly doubt I would tell the joke that was shared in that room full of friends.
In defense of Kirk Reynolds, he knew his audience, he knew what they were able to tolerate, and he proceeded as he saw necessary. That tape was meant for the San Francisco 49er players. It was never meant for the city, the Mayor, the gay/lesbian community or the media. Had it been, I very much doubt that the content would have been the same. Just like I'm sure that if you and your spouse videotaped your own intimate adventures, you wouldn't be shipping it out to the local news station for the 6:00 headlines. Some may say Kirk Reynolds made a mistake. I say the only mistake here is that the world continues to judge “the other guy” for his actions, rather than accept people for who they are, mostly human, and move on even if you don't agree with that individual's actions. Accepting diversity is really the only path to harmony amongst each other. If you continue to get up in arms about every little thing that someone else does that is not in line with your theory of the way the world should be, the world is going to continue being what it is…rich with ignorance, hate, intolerance and a lack of respect for all living things. And, to me, that's more offensive than any videotape could ever be.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Lyrically Challenged
Just the other night I came across a Dockers commercial that featured, what most might describe as, a “cute little ditty” playing in the background. What these people do not understand is that the said “ditty” is actually the jovial rhythm to a song called This is the Day, made popular by 80s artist The The (who is actually one man, Matt Johnson) from the album Soul Mining. Though I was appalled at the fact that the band had fallen so quickly to the bottom rung on the success ladder that it needed to sell its musical soul to a major pants manufacturer, I couldn't help but returning to my days of youth when the tune was a common beat playing through my home or car stereo. Ironically, this is one of the first songs in which I took special interest in the words, and upon which I graduated into that arena of lyric translation that I value so much today.
For those of you unfamiliar with the tune, I've included the lyrics below…
THIS IS THE DAY
Well, you didn't wake up this morning because you didn't go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red
The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off
You've been reading some old letters
You smile and think how much you've changed
All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days
You pull back your curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place
You could've done anything If you'd wanted
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together ... like glue
You pull back your curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
For me, the song has always represented one man's struggle to let go of the past and embrace the future. The bouncing tempo sympathetically empathizes with his fluctuating emotions on a day when he will leave the bachelor world behind and dive head first into marriage; knowing that never again will his life be the familiar routine that it has been. As he prepares for this next step, he can't help but reflect on the journey that brought him here, wondering if the path he chose was the right one.
For years I've stood by that interpretation, even arguing my point to those who perceived a different meaning in the words. However, last evening, my wife opened my eyes to an entirely new possibility. Her theory is that the song is about an individual facing a new chapter in his life, but that this “next big step” is different for each listener based on what he is currently experiencing in his own life. For example, my wedding interpretation was established when I was a bachelor; perhaps my reason for translating the lyrics into a such scenario as that would have been a major change in my life at the time, complete with doubt and reservation. If I had given more thought to the song after I got married, I may have considered that the lyrics might refer to a man who just welcomed a new child into the world, but is feeling insecure about his new father role. And, so this cycle progresses as life moves on.
Unfortunately for me, this theory makes all too much sense. So, after 20 years of believing in one meaning, I have no choice but to relinquish that faith and latch on to my wife's theory. And, while that doesn't bother me from a pride standpoint, as my wife is a very smart woman, it does make me realize one thing: I am no Sherlock Holmes when it comes to decoding the meaning behind lyrics in a song. And, that my friends, is one truth that really does hurt.
For those of you unfamiliar with the tune, I've included the lyrics below…
THIS IS THE DAY
Well, you didn't wake up this morning because you didn't go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red
The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off
You've been reading some old letters
You smile and think how much you've changed
All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days
You pull back your curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place
You could've done anything If you'd wanted
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together ... like glue
You pull back your curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
For me, the song has always represented one man's struggle to let go of the past and embrace the future. The bouncing tempo sympathetically empathizes with his fluctuating emotions on a day when he will leave the bachelor world behind and dive head first into marriage; knowing that never again will his life be the familiar routine that it has been. As he prepares for this next step, he can't help but reflect on the journey that brought him here, wondering if the path he chose was the right one.
For years I've stood by that interpretation, even arguing my point to those who perceived a different meaning in the words. However, last evening, my wife opened my eyes to an entirely new possibility. Her theory is that the song is about an individual facing a new chapter in his life, but that this “next big step” is different for each listener based on what he is currently experiencing in his own life. For example, my wedding interpretation was established when I was a bachelor; perhaps my reason for translating the lyrics into a such scenario as that would have been a major change in my life at the time, complete with doubt and reservation. If I had given more thought to the song after I got married, I may have considered that the lyrics might refer to a man who just welcomed a new child into the world, but is feeling insecure about his new father role. And, so this cycle progresses as life moves on.
Unfortunately for me, this theory makes all too much sense. So, after 20 years of believing in one meaning, I have no choice but to relinquish that faith and latch on to my wife's theory. And, while that doesn't bother me from a pride standpoint, as my wife is a very smart woman, it does make me realize one thing: I am no Sherlock Holmes when it comes to decoding the meaning behind lyrics in a song. And, that my friends, is one truth that really does hurt.
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